Fortunately, last week's historic election of the most liberal, inexperienced U.S. president of all time had a silver lining. California, long considered a lost cause for conservatism, passed Proposition 8 to ban same-sex marriage.
But while I was quietly shedding tears into a tall glass of Rubinoff after John McCain's defeat, militant gay rights activists in California weren't accepting their loss as graciously. "No on Prop 8" protests flooded the state's streets last week, occasionally turning violent.
Counter-demonstrator Phyllis Burgess soon learned that the easiest way to shock a bunch of nipple-pierced, leather-clad activists is to bring a religious symbol to their rally. The local Channel 2 affiliate for Palm Springs caught footage of protestors assaulting the elderly, cross-wielding Burgess. They then grabbed the religious effigy out of her hands and stomped on it.
"I don't want to keep it peaceful anymore. We should fight!" yelled one demonstrator, before the mob lashed out at the Channel 2 news crew.
The peace-loving, tolerance-preaching gay activists also took their anti-Christian anger to the blogosphere. Most of their invectives were directed towards Mormons, who are avid supporters of Prop 8.
"Burn their f---ing churches to the ground, and then tax the charred timbers," insisted the popular Web site and blog, JoeMyGod. One poster listed the addresses of local Mormon churches, writing, "I do not openly advocate firebombing or vandalism. What you do with the information is your own choice."
While these threats of violence came from extremists and certainly don't represent the views of all pro-gay marriage activists, the movement's behavior toward the Mormon Church has become increasingly hostile.
A commercial paid for by an independent "No on Prop 8" group shows actors dressed as Mormon missionaries storming into the charming home of two beautiful newlywed lesbians.
"Hi, we're here from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We're here to take away your rights," the Mormons say as Hitchcock-esque music plays. They proceed to rip off the women's wedding rings, pillage their home and destroy their marriage license.
"Hey, we have rights!" the foxy lesbians pout.
"Not if we can help it," reply the missionaries.
Some gay activists are even attempting to strip the Mormon Church of its status as a religious organization.
"[Show] the world that gay people…know how to hit back. Sign this petition to support the legal effort to strip the Mormon Church of its tax-exempt status," wrote Mario Ruiz in a Huffington Post article.
While it's true that the Mormon Church gave millions of dollars to "Yes on Prop 8" efforts, they had good reason to do so. Despite insistences by gay activists that same-sex marriage promotes inclusiveness, its legalization in Massachusetts has led to an atmosphere of intolerance for religious and moral values.
Millions of taxpayer dollars are being used to teach homosexuality in Massachusetts public schools - often against parents' objections. In 2006, some families filed a Civil Rights lawsuit to force the schools to notify parents before homosexual-related subjects were taught. The judge ruled that because same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts, the schools aren't obligated to notify parents or let them opt out their children, even for religious reasons.
Some of the lessons being espoused in public schools are disturbing. During an interview with NPR radio, an eighth-grade Brookline teacher, Deb Allen, recounted her numerous discussions with her class about lesbian sex toys.
In Brockton, a social worker was brought into a third-grade class to teach eight year olds about sex change operations.
Even more shocking was the distribution of a piece of smut literature called "The Little Black Book - Queer in the 21st Century" to underage students at Brookline High School. The book is a poorly disguised pornographic sex manual; featuring sections titled "Lickin' Butt," "Piss Play," "Fisting," "Mutual Jerkin' Off," and gave sex tips that would make Jim McGreevy blush.
Think homosexuality is a sensitive subject that should be discussed with your children in the privacy of your home and in accordance with your values? Not in Massachusetts. In this state, teachers decide how your children should learn about homosexuality. Parents who complain are ignored, labeled intolerant or encouraged to send their children to private school.
In the back of my mind, I can't help but picture a wholesome, heterosexual, God-fearing Massachusetts couple sitting down for a family dinner. Suddenly, two badge-brandishing muscle-men barge in, sporting short-shorts and Mystic tans.
"Who are you?" cries the couple, as ominous music begins to play.
"We're gay activists," the men say. "We're here to take away your rights."
The activists ransack the family's home, find the couple's seven-year-old daughter and begin lecturing her on the merits of "piss play."
"You can't teach her that! We have rights!" protest the girl's parents.
"Not anymore," cackle the activists as they exit the house.
The militant homosexual movement has proven time and time again it'll use fear and intimidation to intolerantly deny the same rights to the rest of society that it claims for itself. Thankfully, west coast voters were able to see through these tactics.
California, you made the right decision.
Alana Goodman is a Collegian columnist. She can be reached at agoodma@student.umass.edu.
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