'Twas the week before finals, and all through the dorms,
Not a student was stirring, which wasn't the norm.
The books had been cracked for the first time all year,
With everyone shaking as finals drew near.
The prayers had been spoken that no one would fail,
And everyone's fighting for grades tooth and nail.
The semester's behind us but finals we fear,
I'm looking at notes I didn't look at all year.
When out of my TV I heard a loud bang,
And I saw a steel chair hit a head with a clang.
My books were discarded; my notes hit the floor.
I turned up the volume so I could hear more.
The crowd it was loud at this wrestling show,
But had just happened? I needed to know.
Christian hit Goldberg; the mat was bright red.
It was dyed with the blood dripping from Goldberg's head.
Chris Jericho comes out; he's ranting once more.
But all of his raving has become a bore.
He's got his own version of old "Piper's Pit,"
But everything Jericho says is just s**t.
Booker T! Shawn Michaels! And Kevin Nash, too!
Will fight Triple H and Ric Flair 'til they're through.
From the sledgehammer hits to the locker room brawls,
They'll fight again, fight again, fight again all!
When evil takes over, bringing nothing but pain,
It's not a bird in the sky; it's just Hurricane.
Determined to cut evil down at its start,
The Hurricane's weapon of choice is his heart.
The Hardy Boyz broke up, and now Jeff is gone,
But Matt still has Shannon, the number one "Moore-on."
Now Sean O'Haire's back with his devilish grin.
He's hoping he'll soon score a pay-per-view win.
For the tag-team division, there's not much to say.
Team Angle seems lost with its leader away.
Los Guerreros are proud that they lie, cheat and steal,
But think that plotline gives them a raw deal.
On "RAW," Eric Bischoff has troubles galore.
Now that Steve Austin's back, will he even the score?
On "SmackDown," the GM is still Vince's kid.
But he might not forgive her for what she just did.
Hulk Hogan is back as that "America" guy,
Though Vince is convinced that it's all just a lie.
With his face in a mask and some new blue ring tights,
Keeping his job might be Hulk's biggest fight.
Jazz made her return and is with Rodney Mack,
But all she can say is "the bitch has come back."
Sable's back too, with her sights set on Torrie.
There's only one way they can go with this story.
New talent's arrived; there are lessons to learn
The summer will bring us new plot twists and turns.
Who will keep standing, and who will fall fast?
Will there be more stars from the wrestling past?
This column is over; the semester has passed.
It might just be me, but I had such a blast.
Go have some adventures; make stories to tell.
Have a good summer! Keep safe and be well!
Emilie Duggan-Hicks is a Collegian Columnist.
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