The Black Student Union brought forward the double standards women and men face with their sexuality, how the media sells sex and issues of infidelity with a forum last week.
Mohamed Vandi, the secretary of BSU, welcomed the attendees to the Malcolm X center, by encouraging everyone to part take in the laid-back conversation about sex.
"Start it off and don't be shy," Vandi said.
Kenisha Jackson launched the discussion with the question, "If a girl has sex with a lot of guys what is she called?"
She elicted mixed responses as some attendees said "promiscuous" and others said "hoes."
The women in attendance expressed that men should be also categorized as "hoes" just as women are.
"Ho-ism is for males or females," said Jackson.
The attendees discussed that this double standard does exist as part of the control women have over their sexual partners.
"[Women] have the power if the man is going to get some," said Casimir Mazariars. This response elicited a student to make the point that men have to "spit game" in order to get the women that interest them.
"A guy has to put in work to get a girl," said Vandi.
The attendees discussed concerns over how relationships are established when sex ignites them was discussed. The students present voiced opinions that honesty must be the rule when establishing the intentions of a relationship.
"Direct communication - most girls get attached. You can't be blunt, they will turn fatal attraction on you," said Jackson.
The forum also discussed specific time duration that needs to occur before a women is considered a "ho." Hipolito Cruz spoke with reassurance in regards with the time that he enforces, "three weeks to know her good enough [but] three days, she's a ho."
"You can't put a time. Based on a value system there is a double standard withholding sex. I have something that men have to work hard for." said freshman Asia Taylor.
The forum also discussed the influence the media has on how women's sexuality is defined.
Vandi also asked how women felt being portrayed as sexual objects by the media.
Some attendees agreed how the media can add more pressure to women as they are constantly being compared to celebrities.
"[Media] plays a lot into it; why can't you shake your booty like Beyonce or your hips like Shakira? I'm only me," Jackson said.
Students discussed how the media should be seen as a business.
"It's all about making money sex sell, it's in the media it offends women. But the message is sex sells, "Cruz said.
A student asked, "Why do men cheat?" This simple question put the spotlight on the men in present at the forum. Attendees discussed that infidelity only counts if partners are caught in the act.
"We get caught in the worst ways; women know how to lie about it better," said Cruz.
The students also tried to highlight the reasons as to why men are more apt to cheat on their partners.
"Men cheat because girls let him, the man will," said Gregory Saint-Dick.
Attendees agreed to this claim to some extent but expressed that women are at fault when they take back their unfaithful partners while adding that they are not less of a woman if their partner is unfaithful.
"It's not the girl's fault; he is not going to stop. Girls need to take initiative," said Jessica Theophile.
A solution to men infidelities was brought up during the discussion.
"I will throw hot-grits on you in the bed with her. Hot grits is going on both of y'all," said Jackson.
Gisel Saillent can be reached at gsaillen@student.umass.edu.
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