There can be nothing worse than living life with regret.
We have all been in disagreements with friends, family etc. At first, neither party wishes to back down since stubbornness is practically human nature. But is holding onto a grudge for a prolonged period of time really the best solution? Our pride may be encroached upon by admitting our faults. We may feel spineless by forgiving others for their wrongs. Nevertheless, nothing is more personally trying than knowing it is too late for our ill-will to be resolved.
If I were to define myself in a few words, 'strong-minded' and 'stubborn' would be at the top of the list. Most of the time, I believe these are a few of my best qualities, since I take pride in my opinionated personality. But on the other hand, having such a strong-will has landed me in tough situations. When fighting with friends, I have found myself hesitant to acknowledge all of my wrongdoings. When debating an issue, it is not always easy for me to admit a mistake, for fear of looking stupid. In regards to family relationships, my strong personality has caused me to butt heads with one individual in particular: my father.
Growing up, I was always told my dad and I share many of the same characteristics, though not all are good. Both him and I know what we stand for and are quick to defend our beliefs, but unfortunately are cursed with a short fuse. Thus, as I matured and grew into my own person, fights between us became more frequent and harsh. We found we may have argued similarly, but our opinions often stood at different ends of the spectrum. Typically, we could never have just a healthy debate and instead, one person would always end up storming off in sheer frustration. Personally, disagreements even started growing into deep-seeded resentment. Thus, the relationship my dad and I shared became increasingly "hot/cold." I began to consider the reality of a future lacking strong paternal ties.
This year, I became friends with a person who could relate to my familiar problems. Like me, she also was on terms with her dad that ranged from loving to loathing. When I would ask about her relationship with the man, she would reply that one hardly existed. And sadly, this appeared to be how their ties would remain in the future.
But a few weeks ago, my friend received devastating news. Her father, though he had appeared to be a healthy middle-aged man, had been diagnosed with small cell cancer. His chances of survival were uncertain. A cure for this rare form of cancer was unknown. Suddenly, my friend was forced to face her harsh reality. Though her father could overcome the disease, there was still a chance he would not make it. The upcoming months that would consist of his treatment could prove to be his last. Thus, it became obvious that if something were to change between this father/daughter relationship, it would have to be now.
In recent weeks, both my friend and her dad have begun taking small steps toward building their relationship. Both encourage and compliment the other. They now enjoy spending time together, even if it's doing something as minor as watching T.V. It is mutually understood, however, that although their growing relationship is late in the works, at least it is happening at all. With the success of their progressing bond, I got to thinking about my own life.
By putting aside my pride, I realized the relationships currently shared between my father and I do not have to remain this way. We are fortunate to have time on our side to strengthen our ties. If we are both willing to admit our wrongs and make a change, we could be met with positive results. And although not all of our problems may be solved, at least we will have the chance of gaining an understanding of each other's point of views and try to gain respect for them.
Often enough, people are too proud to simply "forgive and forget." Sometimes, it is not always easy to. But unless the effort is made, we also face losing the chance to ever change previous wrongdoings. If possible, revisit relationships that need mending. Reevaluate those that have never been strong. For if we do not, the future could be permanently affected by problems left unresolved in the past.
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