2008 Woodie Awards
Once upon a time, there was a thing called an "album." People would go to record stores, purchase these "albums," take them home, and listen to them. They would be forced to listen to every song them, as there was no "skip" or "next track" button on their record players or tape decks.
The future is so bright, I have to wear shades. The good news about the future is that it will be owned by those who have children today. Those who prefer not to pass on their genes will go the way of the dinosaurs. I'm talking about a species known as the American liberal.
Students in institutions of higher learning are expected to take full responsibility for their actions. College, we're told, is a time where we are expected to mature and one of the ways we should show our newfound maturity is by learning how to effectively deal with our mistakes.