2008 Woodie Awards
A Vermont secession is only natural
Matthew M. Robare, Collegian columnist
Issue date: 5/9/08 Section: Editorial / Opinion
I suppose at this point, if you're still reading, you're saying to yourself "OK, but why should I care?"
The answer is simple: I think western Massachusetts should join the Vermont Republic when she reclaims her sovereignty. Western Massachusetts is culturally, politically, and ethnically contiguous with Vermont.
We share a great resource, the Connecticut River, and have had much literary intercourse in the past. Why, the agreement that would seal the deal could be called the Frost Pact, since Robert Frost is the greatest and most recognizable cultural link. He was after all a professor at Amherst College and a farmer outside of Middlebury.
Together Vermont and Western Massachusetts are strong. We could defend our sovereignty and our liberties to the bitter end, teach each other many things, and grow rich by backing our currency with Grade A maple syrup dumped into unused granite quarries.
Cows let on to interstates could block access for the U.S. military. We could trade with Cuba (via Canada). Best of all, we could dismantle Yankee Nuclear Power Plant. Seriously, that place is a disaster waiting to happen.
There would have to be some name changes obviously. For instance, Mass Turnpike? Now it's the Vermont Turnpike. UMass-Amherst? Now it's UVM-Amherst. Without the ability to make jokes about ZooMass our party school reputation will diminish and it might become possible to live in Southwest again.
The downside is that I'll miss UMassic Park in the Collegian and it will be confusing because the street names will have to be changed. (No more Massachusetts or Commonwealth Avenue.)
The dining hall names will have to be changed, too, except for Berkshire. I think Springfield, Vt., will have to be New Springfield, though, since Springfield, Mass., is so much larger.
Politically there will be more parity between old Vermont and new Vermont then there is between Western and Eastern Massachusetts. The towns here will have more representation in Montpelier then they do in Boston and the population is fairly equal.
But as I said, Vermont and Western Massachusetts are very similar culturally, geographically, and ethnically. There should be no political problems with unification.
The main difficulty is going to be economic. Vermont does not have the tax base to fund all the things it would have to fund, so a change would be in order. Government services would have to be cut back, certain ones would have to be privatized. Thomas Naylor has written extensively on what the Republic's economy should be like, and I urge you to check out his work.
Vermont will rise again.
Matthew R. Robare is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at mrobare@student.umass.edu.
The answer is simple: I think western Massachusetts should join the Vermont Republic when she reclaims her sovereignty. Western Massachusetts is culturally, politically, and ethnically contiguous with Vermont.
We share a great resource, the Connecticut River, and have had much literary intercourse in the past. Why, the agreement that would seal the deal could be called the Frost Pact, since Robert Frost is the greatest and most recognizable cultural link. He was after all a professor at Amherst College and a farmer outside of Middlebury.
Together Vermont and Western Massachusetts are strong. We could defend our sovereignty and our liberties to the bitter end, teach each other many things, and grow rich by backing our currency with Grade A maple syrup dumped into unused granite quarries.
Cows let on to interstates could block access for the U.S. military. We could trade with Cuba (via Canada). Best of all, we could dismantle Yankee Nuclear Power Plant. Seriously, that place is a disaster waiting to happen.
There would have to be some name changes obviously. For instance, Mass Turnpike? Now it's the Vermont Turnpike. UMass-Amherst? Now it's UVM-Amherst. Without the ability to make jokes about ZooMass our party school reputation will diminish and it might become possible to live in Southwest again.
The downside is that I'll miss UMassic Park in the Collegian and it will be confusing because the street names will have to be changed. (No more Massachusetts or Commonwealth Avenue.)
The dining hall names will have to be changed, too, except for Berkshire. I think Springfield, Vt., will have to be New Springfield, though, since Springfield, Mass., is so much larger.
Politically there will be more parity between old Vermont and new Vermont then there is between Western and Eastern Massachusetts. The towns here will have more representation in Montpelier then they do in Boston and the population is fairly equal.
But as I said, Vermont and Western Massachusetts are very similar culturally, geographically, and ethnically. There should be no political problems with unification.
The main difficulty is going to be economic. Vermont does not have the tax base to fund all the things it would have to fund, so a change would be in order. Government services would have to be cut back, certain ones would have to be privatized. Thomas Naylor has written extensively on what the Republic's economy should be like, and I urge you to check out his work.
Vermont will rise again.
Matthew R. Robare is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at mrobare@student.umass.edu.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Just
posted 5/09/08 @ 3:27 AM EST
...weird
Chris Coughlin
posted 5/09/08 @ 8:29 AM EST
You can't think that the imbeciles in Montpelier would provide Vermont with better government than the imbeciles and cowards in Washington. The quiche gobbling, white wine swilling nitwits in both the legislature and congress rarely know that water runs down hill. (Continued…)
Post a Comment